The GREATER you are the LESS you have to PROVE

The GREATER you are the LESS you have to PROVE

I'm a dude that sell merch, I'm anonymous pretty simple.
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One of the nicest guys around @therealjval surrounded by hundreds of shirts sporting themerchdude Camo tank top at Coachella.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm really interested in hearing your opinion on the whole ordeal between Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and that photographer. And kind of just your view on shit like that in general.
themerchdude themerchdude Said:

Those guys are full of shit. One of the members tweeted “We feel that all art should be free and to prove it we will give our music away for free” well I then asked them if their merch would be free because that is art. I also asked them will the tickets for your concert will be free. They responded yes then deleted it. They then retracted and said some forms of art should be free. Yeah by some they mean the ones that don’t affect their income.

Please note that they say they will give their music for free. I bet soon after that you will see them do a kick starter to pay off the advance the label gave them. In order to pay the Cd they are supposedly gonna give for free.

It’s simple use someone’s work pay for it. Don’t be a piece of shit.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
How willing are bands usually to hire a merch person that has never done merch on tour before? The band in particular I'm thinking of is a band that I've toured with before but doing a different job, not merch. I have helped our merch guy sell before and have watched him count, etc. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like doing merch is more about being a people person and dealing with people's bullshit than about numbers. So how much do bands care about merch experience vs knowing the person?
themerchdude themerchdude Said:

Well small bands may not care about experience because small bands can’t afford to pay and need the help. Actually most merch people start with a small band without ever have done merch (friends of the band)

Regarding your “Merch seem to be about dealing with people and not numbers” you are incorrect. Merch is all about the numbers. Once again unless it’s a small band. Remember you are dealing with money and money is numbers. You are counting in and out (numbers) you get deliveries (more numbers) you judge a night by the per heads (numbers)

In my Humble opinion being a good Merch person is about coming up with ideas to move merch. Being able to sell items from other tours because the bands manager’s girlfriend thought some merch idea was great and that idea ended in the band having a shit ton of it left over.

So can anyone do merch? Yes! anyone can. Can anyone do Merch for a big band? NOPE! You need to know and have your shit together with your…Numbers.

That “Happy” song is starting to make me mad.

I’m to sexy for this selfie!

Asker Anonymous Asks:
what do i do if i want an album but its not on my countries iTunes. i can't get it off amazon and they dont sell it anywhere else
themerchdude themerchdude Said:

I’m sure you can buy it off the internet. You can find anything through the internet. So google it and BUY it off the internet.

If you have to put money in your bra at festivals. How about you use a little plastic ziplock so no one has to deal with your SWEATY boob money!
Merch people everywhere

Little keychain/laminate holder we are making for

In two years 4/20 will fall on taco Tuesday

If these people would have had tattoos! None of these are my pictures. I just thought this was awesome!

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Any tips or advice for a girl who's trying to start her own band? Seems easy Enugu ask around your high school stuff like that but it's not that easy, because I am in fact a girl all the "punk rock" guys at my school keep putting me down and ruin my chances of ever meeting people who would be in a band with me. They always say that no one wants a band with a girl guitarist or drummer
themerchdude themerchdude Said:

Well I know many successful bands that have girls in them. Paramore, All That Remains, Stars in stereos and even Fall out boy (that was a joke to see if you were paying attention) The boys in your school suck ass. But you can’t let some dudes that actually probably looks like girls put you down. You see the music business is a tough one for men and women. You do your thing look at other schools maybe look for other girls and that one cool dude in your school that is in the band that will back you.

Go online and look for other people that are looking for guitarist. Just make sure you are good actually BE GREAT! because if you want to make it you need to be GREAT. Be so good that people will be in awe so much that they will just hear your guitar playing and not care if you are a girl, a boy or a Bigfoot!

Good luck!

Fans that act like assholes towards other fans because they been around the band longer are not fans they’re just assholes!
Me yep I said it!

Trying to act like an asshole because you are buying merch may result in the following.

1) You will be outwit. Nothing you say is new or funny.

2) You will be outsmart. (Because you are a dumb ass)

3) Your girlfriend might find the merch person better looking than you and give him her number.

4) Your friends that are laughing with you because they think you are funny. Will be the first ones to walk away after the merch person makes you feel like a small insignificant piece of shit that you are.

5) If The merch person is in a good mood He will invite your girlfriend backstage so she can meet the band. The band that you purchased tickets for her to see. while you sit by merch wondering what she is doing with the lead singer that you know she has a huge crush on.

These are just a few of them. So be nice and polite and stop trying to act like some tough guy because no one is buying it.

That is the first words I heard someone tell me when I wanted to start doing my own merch. Although we are small we are always working hard in creating a good reputation. Because a good reputation is everything. Specially in our case that we are trying to do it all anonymously. So we don’t play games when it comes to service. We try to make every single person that orders our shirts comfortable with the price and the quality of the shirts.

We are not recreating the wheel. We are going with the one thing many larger brands forget. “We listen” we listen and read every email we get at our site. We try to do everything we can to please everyone. *Knocks on wood* so far we have not had any major problems with any our packages as we email every single person a tracking number so they know where their package is at all times. I mean Well besides me being a dummy and sending someone the wrong shirt. We are humans and want to treat every single order like it was packed by a human. We take the time to make every single order like it’s our only order. We are far from perfect but we will try to at least never lose the passion that we started with. The passion to make sure customer service is optimal.

Thanks again for the support. We have a few collaborations coming with fellow friends and their own brands. We support our friends and peers. Because with out them we are nothing! Look forward to see some great stuff here at

Looking out for yourself on the way up is the quickest way to end up…

all alone!