Ever tour has different people, yet the more you tour you will always find the same type of people, these are my favorite types that I keep seeing on every tour I do.

1) Old Timer: This guys has been on every tour since the 80’s has seen it all and is usually little bitter, not because he is not enjoying the tour but because he has to deal with newbies.

2) The gadget guy: This person owns every electronic item possible and has them plugged all over the bus even when he or she is not around, he usually finds pictures of the other crew guys balls on his phones when he leaves them unattended.

3) The packer: This person travels like he or she is a fashion model , has a bag for shoes one for shirts, one for God knows what and has the biggest toiletry bag ever made. This is the person that when you walk on the bus has all his shit around the bunk area. He or she usually finds some of his clothes in the freezer.

4) The groupie hoarder: This is the guy that is usually on his first tour and all he thinks of is the girls he can hook up with because he “knows the band”, he is always asking for working passes, backstage passes and usually sucks at his job, he brings the girls on the bus and is usually left alone on the bus when the band guys walk on and take the girls.

5) The stoner: You will fine more than one on each tour, the have “Product meetings” around 4:20 and after work are always together in the back lounge of the bus playing either video games or just staring at their feet talking about zebras.

6) The Laminator: Yep that guy!! The one that has every single laminate that he has ever gotten his hands on, he thinks its a resume. This guy is usually dumb looking.

7) The Dirty one: This one is just that, he does not really like to shower, his sneakers smell like big foot dick wrapped inside of and egg salad fart. NOTE: beware while going into the bathroom after this guy, his poops are legendary and he pees on the seat.

8) The Bus mom, he or she is a clean freak and usually looks out for stocking the bus even when its not their gig, they are a TM and crew dream. Never fuck with the bus MOM because you will never find your favorite treats as he or she is a bus Nazi.

9) The ghost rider: This is the guy that usually is very quite and you dont seem to see during the day or night, you might see him for a few seconds when he walks on the bus and gets in his bunk, by the way on days off you never EVER see the ghost rider.

10) The Combitcher: This one is always complaining and bitching about everything example: “Catering doesn’t have coffee, the coffee is cold, the coffee is to hot, the coffee is black, the coffee has small cups, the sugar is too sweet, the sugar is to white”. this is just in the 1st ten minutes of meeting the combitcher. By the second week of touring with a combitcher you learn his or hers schedule and avoid them at all cost.

These are just a few of the regulars that I see on tours, so take few seconds and picture which one you’re or would be if you toured, better yet which number on the list your tour buds are.